Some people think depression and sadness are the same thing. Or depression and grief. Like you’re sad your kid made a bad choice at school and you wish he didn’t have to spend recess “on the wall.” Or you’re grieving because your aunt died, and she was your favorite, and you cry sometimes when you think about her. Those things are different from depression.
Depression is more about wanting to disappear, become tiny, curl up in a corner and stay that way forever. You can’t sleep but once you do you can’t get up. At all. And you feel like this pretty much all day every day.
Read MoreIrritation, frustration, and anger are normal emotions - neither positive or negative. Anger is likely one of two things: a messenger or a symptom.
Read MoreDo you ever get working on a project or idea or maybe a complex set of tasks, and it’s so perfect for you that you whiz along, adding more, going off on side tangents to make it better, cleaner, more interesting, useful, or needed? The options are endless. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, you start to feel like you just need to hold your head in your hands and make it all go away?
You might have just sped into feeling stuck.
Read MoreStress and anxiety have lots of similarities. Both can keep you up at night. Both can cause headaches, stomach aches, and other body sensations. Both can make you quick to anger, yell at your kids, or long to veg out in front of the TV or your Facebook news feed.
Read MoreLet’s start by telling the truth: counseling is a large investment of your time and money. Living in the Issaquah area is expensive enough and commuting to work is long enough – no need to throw away time and money. And by the time you start counseling, you’ve probably been suffering long enough that you’re really ready for things to be better. Since your time and money are being spent, here are some ways to make sure to get the most out of it.
Read MoreWhen your relationship is floundering, fighting is the norm, and winning is rare, try to hold in your mind that your partner is the person you love and you are the person they love. Fighting well is hard to do and you have to practice (yep, practice) fighting to get better at it. You will make mistakes, feel unheard, and say the wrong thing in a heated moment of conflict. Just know that it's like a muscle and needs to be exercised, constructively, building on love and connection. Know that you will get better and so will your partner.
This is part 4 of my four-part VLOG series on conflict in relationships.
Read MoreWe all hear how important it is to argue, disagree, and be authentic. But did you know you can actually do conflict better, communicate better, and improve your relationship if you have areas and times that are free of conflict?
This is part 3 of my four-part VLOG series on relationship conflict and communication. Scroll down to read more, or just watch the video here.
Read MoreCommunication can really mess up relationships since there are so many places it can go wrong, leading to such huge misunderstandings. If you follow just these two tips, you can see an immediate improvement in your relationship and lessen the level of conflict.
Read MoreIf you hate fighting you're not alone. Most of us hate fighting and avoid conflict like the plague. But you can learn to communicate and resolve conflict in ways that improve your relationship and mover you closer together.
Read MoreMost of us are prone to high expectations, and stress around the holiday season. If you are someone who fits into this group, as I am, you may also worry your holiday might be disappointing or painful. Do you know what you are hoping for? Specifically?
It’s likely some aspects of your dream holiday are quite possible.
Define your day. Make it so. Let it go.
Read MoreIf you grew up in home with chaos or distress, rages or silences, you probably got really good at hiding your feelings, watching for cues in adults' behaviors.
Read MoreWhere do you hold your stress? Your belly? Your head? Your neck and shoulders?
When you’re stressed you might notice you hunch your shoulders up toward your ears, giving you pain in your neck or upper back. You might tighten your jaw, grind your teeth, or feel weepy.
The most important thing is that you notice. Then you can release it.
Read MoreIf you are alive and awake, you’ve likely read or heard about Josh Duggar, of the television show 19 Kids and Counting, molesting his sisters and a babysitter. What can you and I, as parents, do differently? Value our children, believe them, report their molester.
Read MoreHave you ever felt so sad you couldn't leave your bed? Make something to eat? Here are some ways to feel better, fast. If you feel you might have depression, try one or several of these.
Read MoreThink back to the past week. Think about the positive, negative, and neutral events that happened. Did you have a bad day? Did you feel abandoned or panicked when the person you turned to wasn’t available? Do you want to feel better when it happens again? Because you will feel let down, disappointed, or abandoned again someday. We can control of our feelings of sadness, abandonment, grief, rage, and anxiety by changing our thoughts with a simple activity called cognitive restructuring.
Read MoreSeattle is a lovely vibrant city, with the requisite attractions like the Space Needle, Pike Place Market, and the Troll under the bridge. It’s also very hustle bustle and, some say, is known for a phenomenon called the Seattle Freeze. If you experience loneliness, isolation, or sadness, you may benefit from working with a counselor in Seattle.
Read MoreC’mon, admit it. When you were a child of napping age, you knew as well as I did how to muss up your hair, the sheets, and your clothing just so. I hated sleep. I could quietly pull out Nancy Drew, or my Spirograph, something quiet to pass the time until I could try leaving my bedroom again.
Read MoreDid you ever play hide and seek, outside in the neighborhood, after dark? My cousins were the best at surrounding the good hiding spaces, causing me to freeze. What kept me from just grabbing a spot and hiding? Well here it is: to make one choice was to leave behind other, possibly better, options.
Read MoreI made decisions, changed decisions, and meditated on it.
Read MoreEye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) is one of the great counseling techniques to lessen the triggers and flooding that can come with anxiety. It works on the stuck memories that come out with physical sensations when you are confronted with smells, sights, people, places, or sounds that are similar to trauma, pain, or fear you experienced in the past.
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