"We are affected by our past, but we are not prisoners of our pasts." ~Robin Custer, MSW, LICSWA When we have trauma, whether from violence, car crashes, phobias, a death, relocation, foster families, alcoholism, loving parents who were just absent, we can feel stuck, mentally, at the age the trauma first occurred. While we can't go back and redo our childhoods, we CAN use tools help get unstuck. One simple technique you can do at home is to write with your right (or dominant) hand on one side of an open notebook. Write to your early you. Maybe you want to ask your young you what they needed but didn't get. Other examples are:
Who helped you when you needed it at 4, or 5 or 6?
What did you play with and where did you go that you wished you could do / go again?
What did you need that I (your older you) can give you?
Would it help if I held you close and took care of you now?
Then, using your left (or nondominant hand) let your thoughts flow freely onto the other page in the notebook. Let your little you answer back. You might get responses like:
Auntie Jane tried to help me. I always loved Auntie Jane.
I played cars in the back yard, far away from the sounds of fighting.
You get the idea. It's simple but perhaps not easy. Try this and let me know what you come up with robin@balanceinsight.com