It’s been a long winter, literally and figuratively. With COVID and staying home, isolation and depression have been an awful stormy “season”.
Read MoreAm I normal? 4 normal feelings for adults abused as children
As a child, your caregiver had the ultimate power over your life, death, and happiness. It wasn’t safe to play, make noise, or be noticed, and your emotional and physical safety, and maybe your life, depended on your brain’s ability to pick up on tiny cues that might signal upcoming harm to you. Now, you may be fearful of things others are not. This is normal, you are normal, and you are not alone.
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Alone for the holidays? Then this is for you
Whether this is your first holiday alone, or your twentieth, you will likely experience some uncomfortable feelings. Try one - or more - of these ideas to pass the time, survive and thrive, heal, or absorb some holiday joy.
Read More1,000,000: The number of suicide attempts in a year
In honor of Suicide Prevention Week 2017: Remember the old Reading Rainbow children’s book How Much is a Million? “If one million children climbed onto one another’s shoulders, they would be higher than airplanes fly.” That’s how many people attempt suicide in the United States each year.
Read MoreMad as Hell: 4 Ways to Sit With Anger
You know the feeling: a dull pressure in your head, pit in your stomach, narrowed vision, feeling white hot or icy cold. You might feel like you can’t sit still - your heart racing, and your jaw clenched. You want to yell, cry, or kick something.
Read MoreThe 10 most common questions I get asked about counseling
Is there something wrong with me? The short answer is no. There is likely nothing “wrong” with you.
How do I know if counseling will work? If you want to learn, change, or practice something about yourself, it will work.
How do I know if it’s working? A good therapist will work with you to set goals.
Read MoreSaying NO: 4 Steps to Telling Your Mother No
Like many women of a certain age, we’ve moved past being a rebellious daughter and into being a mother in our own families. We tell our children no when they ask for unreasonable or unhealthy things. We tell our partners no when they have unrealistic expectations. We even tell our best friends no when we need more time with our children and partners. Why, then, is it so difficult to say no to our mothers or fathers or other members in our family of origin?
Read MoreWhen feelings feel physical
Does my kid have anxiety? (And if so, what can I do?)
If you have a child who cries often, is easily frustrated or sullen or angry, has trouble falling asleep or getting up, refuses to engage, or is obstinate, they may have anxiety.
Read MoreHow to manage change (with less anxiety)
We are creatures of habit. We have our comfort zone established and even extroverts want that space to return to. So change is understandably hard for most of us, often causing stress or anxiety. I recently moved to a new city, both my family and my counseling practice. Along the way, I learned some things I want to remember, to help me with the next change. Maybe they’ll help you too.
Read MoreWhy am I so angry?!?!
Irritation, frustration, and anger are normal emotions - neither positive or negative. Anger is likely one of two things: a messenger or a symptom.
Read MoreGetting over getting stuck
Do you ever get working on a project or idea or maybe a complex set of tasks, and it’s so perfect for you that you whiz along, adding more, going off on side tangents to make it better, cleaner, more interesting, useful, or needed? The options are endless. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, you start to feel like you just need to hold your head in your hands and make it all go away?
You might have just sped into feeling stuck.
Read MoreIs it Stress or Anxiety? And what can you do?
Stress and anxiety have lots of similarities. Both can keep you up at night. Both can cause headaches, stomach aches, and other body sensations. Both can make you quick to anger, yell at your kids, or long to veg out in front of the TV or your Facebook news feed.
Read MoreHow to get the most out of counseling - 5 ways
Let’s start by telling the truth: counseling is a large investment of your time and money. Living in the Issaquah area is expensive enough and commuting to work is long enough – no need to throw away time and money. And by the time you start counseling, you’ve probably been suffering long enough that you’re really ready for things to be better. Since your time and money are being spent, here are some ways to make sure to get the most out of it.
Read MoreDon't fight to win!
When your relationship is floundering, fighting is the norm, and winning is rare, try to hold in your mind that your partner is the person you love and you are the person they love. Fighting well is hard to do and you have to practice (yep, practice) fighting to get better at it. You will make mistakes, feel unheard, and say the wrong thing in a heated moment of conflict. Just know that it's like a muscle and needs to be exercised, constructively, building on love and connection. Know that you will get better and so will your partner.
This is part 4 of my four-part VLOG series on conflict in relationships.
Read MoreConflict free in your relationship
We all hear how important it is to argue, disagree, and be authentic. But did you know you can actually do conflict better, communicate better, and improve your relationship if you have areas and times that are free of conflict?
This is part 3 of my four-part VLOG series on relationship conflict and communication. Scroll down to read more, or just watch the video here.
Read MoreInsight: understanding the true nature of someone or something
If you grew up in home with chaos or distress, rages or silences, you probably got really good at hiding your feelings, watching for cues in adults' behaviors.
Read MoreWhere do you hold stress?
Where do you hold your stress? Your belly? Your head? Your neck and shoulders?
When you’re stressed you might notice you hunch your shoulders up toward your ears, giving you pain in your neck or upper back. You might tighten your jaw, grind your teeth, or feel weepy.
The most important thing is that you notice. Then you can release it.
Read MoreChildhood sexual trauma: What happens when the predator is your brother?
If you are alive and awake, you’ve likely read or heard about Josh Duggar, of the television show 19 Kids and Counting, molesting his sisters and a babysitter. What can you and I, as parents, do differently? Value our children, believe them, report their molester.
Read MoreHow to feel better when you're depressed
Have you ever felt so sad you couldn't leave your bed? Make something to eat? Here are some ways to feel better, fast. If you feel you might have depression, try one or several of these.
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