It's pretty hard, maybe even impossible, to go where you want to go right now. There are ways, though; there are ways.
Read MoreYour perfect anger
It’s alright to have anger. You don’t need to be happy all the time. You’re perfect, even when you’re angry.
Read MoreFind your inner Sassy Girl
Before life changed you, you had a sassy strength.
Read MoreStomach in Knots?
If you get a tight stomach even thinking about attending seasonal family reunions, here are some tips to loosen the knots.
Arrive well rested and well fed
It’s harder to manage your emotions when you’re tired and hungry. Even though the gathering might center around food, don’t starve yourself thinking you can eat with everyone else. Eat something hearty and nutritious, like a cheese sandwich, a bean soup, or even veggie sticks dipped in hummus, before you leave your house.
Have a support person
Read MoreAlone for the holidays? Then this is for you
Whether this is your first holiday alone, or your twentieth, you will likely experience some uncomfortable feelings. Try one - or more - of these ideas to pass the time, survive and thrive, heal, or absorb some holiday joy.
Read MoreMad as Hell: 4 Ways to Sit With Anger
You know the feeling: a dull pressure in your head, pit in your stomach, narrowed vision, feeling white hot or icy cold. You might feel like you can’t sit still - your heart racing, and your jaw clenched. You want to yell, cry, or kick something.
Read MoreThe 10 most common questions I get asked about counseling
Is there something wrong with me? The short answer is no. There is likely nothing “wrong” with you.
How do I know if counseling will work? If you want to learn, change, or practice something about yourself, it will work.
How do I know if it’s working? A good therapist will work with you to set goals.
Read MoreSaying NO: 4 Steps to Telling Your Mother No
Like many women of a certain age, we’ve moved past being a rebellious daughter and into being a mother in our own families. We tell our children no when they ask for unreasonable or unhealthy things. We tell our partners no when they have unrealistic expectations. We even tell our best friends no when we need more time with our children and partners. Why, then, is it so difficult to say no to our mothers or fathers or other members in our family of origin?
Read MoreWhen feelings feel physical
Does my kid have anxiety? (And if so, what can I do?)
If you have a child who cries often, is easily frustrated or sullen or angry, has trouble falling asleep or getting up, refuses to engage, or is obstinate, they may have anxiety.
Read MoreHow to manage change (with less anxiety)
We are creatures of habit. We have our comfort zone established and even extroverts want that space to return to. So change is understandably hard for most of us, often causing stress or anxiety. I recently moved to a new city, both my family and my counseling practice. Along the way, I learned some things I want to remember, to help me with the next change. Maybe they’ll help you too.
Read MoreDepression: It's more than "just" sadness
Some people think depression and sadness are the same thing. Or depression and grief. Like you’re sad your kid made a bad choice at school and you wish he didn’t have to spend recess “on the wall.” Or you’re grieving because your aunt died, and she was your favorite, and you cry sometimes when you think about her. Those things are different from depression.
Depression is more about wanting to disappear, become tiny, curl up in a corner and stay that way forever. You can’t sleep but once you do you can’t get up. At all. And you feel like this pretty much all day every day.
Read MoreWhy am I so angry?!?!
Irritation, frustration, and anger are normal emotions - neither positive or negative. Anger is likely one of two things: a messenger or a symptom.
Read MoreGetting over getting stuck
Do you ever get working on a project or idea or maybe a complex set of tasks, and it’s so perfect for you that you whiz along, adding more, going off on side tangents to make it better, cleaner, more interesting, useful, or needed? The options are endless. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, you start to feel like you just need to hold your head in your hands and make it all go away?
You might have just sped into feeling stuck.
Read MoreIs it Stress or Anxiety? And what can you do?
Stress and anxiety have lots of similarities. Both can keep you up at night. Both can cause headaches, stomach aches, and other body sensations. Both can make you quick to anger, yell at your kids, or long to veg out in front of the TV or your Facebook news feed.
Read MoreHow to get the most out of counseling - 5 ways
Let’s start by telling the truth: counseling is a large investment of your time and money. Living in the Issaquah area is expensive enough and commuting to work is long enough – no need to throw away time and money. And by the time you start counseling, you’ve probably been suffering long enough that you’re really ready for things to be better. Since your time and money are being spent, here are some ways to make sure to get the most out of it.
Read MoreDon't fight to win!
When your relationship is floundering, fighting is the norm, and winning is rare, try to hold in your mind that your partner is the person you love and you are the person they love. Fighting well is hard to do and you have to practice (yep, practice) fighting to get better at it. You will make mistakes, feel unheard, and say the wrong thing in a heated moment of conflict. Just know that it's like a muscle and needs to be exercised, constructively, building on love and connection. Know that you will get better and so will your partner.
This is part 4 of my four-part VLOG series on conflict in relationships.
Read MoreConflict free in your relationship
We all hear how important it is to argue, disagree, and be authentic. But did you know you can actually do conflict better, communicate better, and improve your relationship if you have areas and times that are free of conflict?
This is part 3 of my four-part VLOG series on relationship conflict and communication. Scroll down to read more, or just watch the video here.
Read More2 Tips for Better Communication
Communication can really mess up relationships since there are so many places it can go wrong, leading to such huge misunderstandings. If you follow just these two tips, you can see an immediate improvement in your relationship and lessen the level of conflict.
Read MoreHow to use conflict to improve your relationship: Cop an attitude & Lead up to it
If you hate fighting you're not alone. Most of us hate fighting and avoid conflict like the plague. But you can learn to communicate and resolve conflict in ways that improve your relationship and mover you closer together.
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