Robin Custer, MSW, LICSW 9/10/17 Robin Custer, MSW, LICSW 9/10/17

1,000,000: The number of suicide attempts in a year

In honor of Suicide Prevention Week 2017: Remember the old Reading Rainbow children’s book How Much is a Million? “If one million children climbed onto one another’s shoulders, they would be higher than airplanes fly.” That’s how many people attempt suicide in the United States each year.

My sister attempted suicide when I was a child. I don’t remember very much about it, but I remember my mother picking me up early from my school dance to take my sister to the emergency room to have her stomach pumped. And, I remember being scared for her, my beloved. She survived and went to counseling, and grew up to marry and have children, thank goodness.

If you have thoughts or feelings about self-harm, you might feel like you have nowhere to turn. Here are some things to know:

You don’t have to act on the feelings. You can choose how to respond or not to respond at all.

Feelings and thoughts about hurting yourself mean you need to take a deep breath, remain calm, and take self-care action. It’s important to know you will not feel this way forever. You haven’t always felt this way; you felt another way before. First, find someone you can talk to - a friend, family member, coworker, therapist, or hotline. Some things to say include that you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself, if you know why you feel that way (and it’s normal if you don’t know why), if you can tell them what you need, if you don’t know what you need. If you’d rather not talk to someone you know, you can call the hotline or chat online.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Online chat at the Suicide Crisis Chat

The Suicide Prevention Lifeline has teamed up with suicide attempt survivors, therapists, crisis centers, families, and others to offer real help that works. Suicide attempt survivors have posted 100 ways to get through the next 5 minutes. Survivors also share longer activities, tried and true self-care tips, when they needs care.

If you have experienced thoughts of harming yourself in the past, or think you might in the future, it’s important to have a safety plan. Safety plans include strategies like prevention strategies, how to recognize warning signs, people you can reach out to, ways to get through immediate thoughts and feelings of self-harm, and how to stay safe in the future.

Recovering from a suicide attempt

If you survived a suicide attempt, you are survivor. Other survivors have shared their stories online, how they made it through their darkest hour, and may inspire you. Sometimes sharing your pain, and helping others, via blogging about it can be therapeutically healing. You can read others’ blog posts and add your own at You Matter.

You do matter

You are important and perfect just as you are. Let me say that again, in case you didn't hear: you are important and perfect just as you are. If you experience any of these warning signs, please reach out. If you don't experience any of these, but you feel worried you might, reach out too; it might just make you feel better.

If you have tried to hurt or kill yourself, you are more likely to try again
Having a friend or family member who attempted suicide
Untreated depression (the number one cause for suicide)
Unexplained extreme mood changes
Feeling hopeless, helpless, or unable to picture a future with you in it
Sleeping too much or too little
Using drugs or alcohol
Feeling like others would be better off without you
Losing interest in activities
Withdrawing or isolating from others

And if you think you might need help to feel better overall, call or email me to schedule a free phone consultation where you will be listened to and learn counseling might help.

Thanks for reading, and be well. ~ Robin

Resources and References Used

David Schwartz, “How Much Is a Million?” Harper Collins Publishers, 1985.

“You Matter,” http://www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

John Draper, http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

If you, or someone you know, is in crisis, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or chat http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

A special thank you to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for their invaluable resources, for their good work, and their awareness and prevention programs.

Robin Custer, MSW, LICSW 4/10/17 Robin Custer, MSW, LICSW 4/10/17

Depression: It's more than "just" sadness

Some people think depression and sadness are the same thing. Or depression and grief. Like you’re sad your kid made a bad choice at school and you wish he didn’t have to spend recess “on the wall.” Or you’re grieving because your aunt died, and she was your favorite, and you cry sometimes when you think about her. Those things are different from depression.

Depression is more about wanting to disappear, become tiny, curl up in a corner and stay that way forever. You can’t sleep but once you do you can’t get up. At all. And you feel like this pretty much all day every day.

When is it depression?

Your limbs feel heavy, and walking from the couch or bed to the sink for a glass of water is like moving through mud and you don’t have the energy to even think about trying it. In fact, you might actually have mud – or at least dirt – throughout the house since, with depression, it’s hard to be motivated to clean.

You CAN get stuck in sadness and develop depression. And you CAN get stuck in grief and develop depression. But generally, sadness and grief ebb and flow depending on your situation, while depression sticks around for more than a couple of weeks.

You’ve lost interest in things that used to be fun for you. You don’t socialize anymore and even Facebook takes too much energy. You used to love visiting friends but now you spend your time at home alone, and don’t even open the curtains. You used to enjoy going dancing but now you binge watch Scandal or Breaking Bad.

Generally, sadness and grief ebb and

flow, while depression sticks around

If you’re eating, you’re eating whatever’s easy – whether it’s healthy or not, tasty or not. Or you might be eating all the time. Boxes of cereal and milk, cartons of ice cream, bags of potato chips, supersized candy bars one after the other, or Happy Meals from drive throughs. But you’re not likely cooking nutritionally balanced meals that take planning or look and taste appealing.

You’re probably moving and talking much slower than normal for you – so much that other people might have noticed. Your parents would say you’re “dawdling,” and coworkers would call you unmotivated, but you just know you’re exhausted. And your voice has become monotone with less feeling, shorter sentences, and smaller words.

It’s likely gotten harder to concentrate and make decisions. You don’t read books anymore or watch full length TV movies, but rather flip through magazines and watch shorter shows. And if the choice is what to eat, you probably won’t eat at all. What to wear? You’ll just stay in your bathrobe.

You feel so worthless and guilty and hopeless that you wonder why you were even born, like you’re a burden to all those around you, like your existence is a mistake. You can’t imagine a better or different future. Please, if you feel like you might hurt yourself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to the online Lifeline Chat at http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org for help.

And all of this feels like it’s gone on for an eternity and that it will never, ever be different.

That’s depression

I picture sadness and grief as bumps on an otherwise steady road of life. Depression is more of a dip, a dent (or a depression) in the road, so deep you need help to climb out.

If this sounds like you - if you think you might have depression - call me for a free consultation where we’ll discuss strategies to get you feeling better or whether you need more help. And in the meantime, click for some activities to get temporary relief.

As always, thank you for reading my post, and please share with anyone you think it might help.